Post by Alexandra Bishop on Mar 14, 2016 20:55:20 GMT
Ok, so I've noticed that the two stories posted so far have been beautiful works of art worthy of being published in respected journals. Mine will not match up. The first section is written from the viewpoint of one of Boston's most common archetypes, the aging Fuckboy.
Beautiful Woman walking two dogs...
Around 10:30 AM
You were wearing a form fitting top (very flattering!) which you filled out very well
you were on your phone
I am on Kik: tentmaker_69
_____________________________________________________
I saw her walkin’ down the sidewalk in Metro West. She had these two huge freakin’ dogs with her, Dobahmans I think. I was barely in ass watchin’ range and even from there I could see that she was practically bustin’ outta her shirt. I mean jesus, that top was flatterin’. I was gonna scream somethin’ along the lines of, “hey baby, wanna know what it feels like to have somethin’ other than a dog cock inside-a-ya?” but that woulda been rude. Cause she was on the phone.
I followed her for a while, and I knew she was interested in me. mostly ‘cause she kept lookin’ ovah her shoulda. She started walkin’ fastah, and I tried to keep up but she started runnin’ with her dogs and sprinted across a busy intersection. I guess she forgot I was followin’ her or had somewheah to be. By the time the light changed she was nowheah to be seen.
I went home aftah that and put up an ad on the greatest webpage of all time. The craigslist missed connections section. I left her my Kik handle, tentmaker_69. I know that theahs no way anyone is gonna troll me ovah this one.
___________________________________________________
Jesus freaking Christ! It’s impossible to live in this city without a bunch of fuckboys drooling all over you twenty-four-seven!
Alright, so I’m walking down the street taking Brutus and Cassius for a walk in Metro West. I notice this mouth breathing psycho starts following me so I pull out my phone and pretend to talk to someone in the hopes that it would get him off my back. I guess that was kind of a slow move since the two huge freaking Dobermans weren’t enough. I started walking faster and he picked up the same speed. I wasn’t going to have another creep grope me in the street and then scream at me for not being flattered.
I reached an intersection but the light turned red just as a I got there. I hesitated for a second before deciding that I’d rather kiss pavement than the gremlin behind me. Cassius, Brutus and I sprinted across the intersection as quickly as we could. Horns blared, brakes squealed, and tires screeched, but we survived. I heard a cry of, “AH! CUMAAAAHN!” and didn’t stop to see if it was from a driver or my stalker.
We made it back to my apartment and after I calmed down I realized that I couldn’t live like this anymore. Ever since I’d moved here I experienced a never ending chain of harassment and bigotry. Enough was enough. I grabbed my father’s rifle, cleaned it, loaded it, and waited a couple hours before checking the online lair of the most pathetic dregs of society. No, not /b/. Craigslist’s missed connections board.
It didn’t take too long for me to find, and I wasn’t surprised by what was there. He actually thought that he’d flattered me in some way. He left his Kik handle, tentmaker_69, and I made an account so I could find him. I chatted with him and set up a meeting in Hopkinton State Park at midnight. He thought it was romantic.
I set up in a tree that was in thick bloom. Brutus and Cassius were tethered to trunk and were laying low. I thought that my father was crazy for teaching me the things he did. Sane people didn’t need those skills. Sane people needed to know how to write, and add, and code. They had to know how to talk to people and hold down a job. Maybe I was wrong though. Then again, maybe I wasn’t a sane person anymore.
He reached the bench were we said we’d meet at and I set my crosshairs on him. I suddenly noticed that he had a knife at his belt. The son of a bitch was going to kill me! I decided that a quick death was too good for him so I took my sights off of his chest and aimed for his knee.
Even with a silencer a rifle makes enough noise to draw attention. Don’t believe the movies. I had forgotten what it feels like when the rifle punches your shoulder. He let out an unearthly wail as his knee was blasted out from under him, and his world came crashing down.
I dropped from the tree and untied my dogs. We walked over to him and I told them to eat. They always do what I say.
Beautiful Woman walking two dogs...
Around 10:30 AM
You were wearing a form fitting top (very flattering!) which you filled out very well
you were on your phone
I am on Kik: tentmaker_69
_____________________________________________________
I saw her walkin’ down the sidewalk in Metro West. She had these two huge freakin’ dogs with her, Dobahmans I think. I was barely in ass watchin’ range and even from there I could see that she was practically bustin’ outta her shirt. I mean jesus, that top was flatterin’. I was gonna scream somethin’ along the lines of, “hey baby, wanna know what it feels like to have somethin’ other than a dog cock inside-a-ya?” but that woulda been rude. Cause she was on the phone.
I followed her for a while, and I knew she was interested in me. mostly ‘cause she kept lookin’ ovah her shoulda. She started walkin’ fastah, and I tried to keep up but she started runnin’ with her dogs and sprinted across a busy intersection. I guess she forgot I was followin’ her or had somewheah to be. By the time the light changed she was nowheah to be seen.
I went home aftah that and put up an ad on the greatest webpage of all time. The craigslist missed connections section. I left her my Kik handle, tentmaker_69. I know that theahs no way anyone is gonna troll me ovah this one.
___________________________________________________
Jesus freaking Christ! It’s impossible to live in this city without a bunch of fuckboys drooling all over you twenty-four-seven!
Alright, so I’m walking down the street taking Brutus and Cassius for a walk in Metro West. I notice this mouth breathing psycho starts following me so I pull out my phone and pretend to talk to someone in the hopes that it would get him off my back. I guess that was kind of a slow move since the two huge freaking Dobermans weren’t enough. I started walking faster and he picked up the same speed. I wasn’t going to have another creep grope me in the street and then scream at me for not being flattered.
I reached an intersection but the light turned red just as a I got there. I hesitated for a second before deciding that I’d rather kiss pavement than the gremlin behind me. Cassius, Brutus and I sprinted across the intersection as quickly as we could. Horns blared, brakes squealed, and tires screeched, but we survived. I heard a cry of, “AH! CUMAAAAHN!” and didn’t stop to see if it was from a driver or my stalker.
We made it back to my apartment and after I calmed down I realized that I couldn’t live like this anymore. Ever since I’d moved here I experienced a never ending chain of harassment and bigotry. Enough was enough. I grabbed my father’s rifle, cleaned it, loaded it, and waited a couple hours before checking the online lair of the most pathetic dregs of society. No, not /b/. Craigslist’s missed connections board.
It didn’t take too long for me to find, and I wasn’t surprised by what was there. He actually thought that he’d flattered me in some way. He left his Kik handle, tentmaker_69, and I made an account so I could find him. I chatted with him and set up a meeting in Hopkinton State Park at midnight. He thought it was romantic.
I set up in a tree that was in thick bloom. Brutus and Cassius were tethered to trunk and were laying low. I thought that my father was crazy for teaching me the things he did. Sane people didn’t need those skills. Sane people needed to know how to write, and add, and code. They had to know how to talk to people and hold down a job. Maybe I was wrong though. Then again, maybe I wasn’t a sane person anymore.
He reached the bench were we said we’d meet at and I set my crosshairs on him. I suddenly noticed that he had a knife at his belt. The son of a bitch was going to kill me! I decided that a quick death was too good for him so I took my sights off of his chest and aimed for his knee.
Even with a silencer a rifle makes enough noise to draw attention. Don’t believe the movies. I had forgotten what it feels like when the rifle punches your shoulder. He let out an unearthly wail as his knee was blasted out from under him, and his world came crashing down.
I dropped from the tree and untied my dogs. We walked over to him and I told them to eat. They always do what I say.