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Post by Alexandra Bishop on Mar 18, 2016 13:34:38 GMT
For those of you who know me, you know I hate poetry. That's primarily because I can't write it for shit, but with this prompt I wanted to try it. Because poetry is beautiful, and it could literally be talking about a pile of shit and still elicit war, fuzzy feelings. So, I took the sonnet, one of he most traditional forms of love poetry, and wrote a poem about rage. But, of course, since I can't write poetry, the last couplet is a throw away, because fuck it. Anyway: Alex Tries to Write a Sonnet The bright irons from forge’s fires
lodge fast into heart’s soft tissues searing
lover’s bright eyes toward wild desires
and setting their wicked teeth to tearing
The fog smudges dark boughs on silk paper
as, rising above the mist to explore
that vision far beyond the gray vapor
before succumbing to the murk once more
This swell of vigor fragments sturdy chains
The thoughts that leave possibility bound
are yellow leaves cleared away from clogged drains
and sanction fresh water to run aground.
Finding a couplet to finish this page
Has guided me to a terrible rage. |
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Post by Cullen on Mar 18, 2016 23:46:43 GMT
you're too hard on yourself. the imagery gave me chills at certain points. I like the idea that beuty can be found in poetry no matter what and I now plan on writing a poem about a literal pile of shit to test your theory.
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Post by Alexandra Bishop on Mar 19, 2016 0:33:56 GMT
you're too hard on yourself. the imagery gave me chills at certain points. I like the idea that beuty can be found in poetry no matter what and I now plan on writing a poem about a literal pile of shit to test your theory. Thanks man! I got a lot of the imagery from my drive to work, and since my last piece was lacking in it, I thought I'd pull it out this time around. I'm really glad to know that it gave you chills! I tried really hard to kind of flip the idea of rage on it's head; that we live in perpetual fog and rage actually helps us focus. |
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Post by Sarah Leidhold on Mar 19, 2016 3:44:59 GMT
This piece reminds me of the awe I always am inspired to feel by poetry use established form so successfully as a medium for expression. Even just at first glance, it is aesthetically appealing- it draws me into the words right away. Your writing has such a sensory quality to me- there are sounds and temperature extremities and textures- it went beyond imagery to elicit so much more than just images. I could feel the heat and hear the water running aground and see the gray vapor. Your rhymes are not hackneyed, easy choices- they are new and fresh- I loved "bound" and "aground". Your alliteration also adds sonic value as well- especially in the last line of the first stanza: "setting their teeth to tearing"- that sharp "t" translates a subtly snapping bite to that piece that harmonizes with the mood perfectly. The imagery of the fog in the second stanza is so strongly conveyed that I felt myself blinking inadvertently to try to see past the haze I was suddenly seeing. Your diction is so deftly selected- words like "swell" and "vigor" communicate the intensity of the emotions described. I truly enjoyed this poem. You should be so proud of yourself! I like that it takes a different view of rage as something that can be valuable to a perspective. This was so unique and enjoyable! Thank you for sharing.
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JoshSmaltz
Supervising Cohort
Supervising Cohort
Hail! and well met
Posts: 20 
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Post by JoshSmaltz on Mar 19, 2016 21:35:52 GMT
Sonnets are fun they are a great form to practice because it's the cadence that is most difficult to master. Getting yourself to think in ten-syllabe lines is a challenge. With the sorts of different schemes (I like Italian) Sonnets always reminded me of coloring books. You get to choose the colors and it works for you. You may prefer the Italian style; I can't remember which one it is precisely but there are no couplets  |
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Post by Alexandra Bishop on Mar 19, 2016 22:46:30 GMT
Sonnets are fun they are a great form to practice because it's the cadence that is most difficult to master. Getting yourself to think in ten-syllabe lines is a challenge. With the sorts of different schemes (I like Italian) Sonnets always reminded me of coloring books. You get to choose the colors and it works for you. You may prefer the Italian style; I can't remember which one it is precisely but there are no couplets I was more familiar with the Shakespearean...but I might rewrite it in an Italian style. Because fuck couplets.  |
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